Show Me A Hero
by Writermonkie
Summary: Their gazes locked. Steady, firm, and resolved, his bright blue met her desperate, pleading deep green.  Set S4. Castle pushes his way into Beckett's life as a way to protect her, and his actions may lead him to the ultimate sacrifice.
1. Prologue

**Story takes place in season 4, spoilers for the finale**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle or the characters. **

Prologue:

Their gazes locked. Steady, firm, and resolved, his bright blue met her desperate, pleading deep green. Her left hand trembled where she held onto his sport coat lapel in a death grip. Her right hand was entrapped in handcuffs that were linked to the open-windowed car door. Handcuffs that he had slipped from her pocket and in one swift motion had fastened her here, trapped her so that she couldn't follow him, stop him, save him.

"Rick, please… don't do this… You can't…"

Barely a whisper, the words died in her throat, because she knew. The moment she heard the clink of metal, felt the cool pressure around her wrist, she knew. Now, staring at his downturned face, she could see the deep pain etched into his features. It was pain for her, overwhelming regret at her having to experience this with him. Even more prominent than his emotion was determination, which was what left her this terrified and hopeless.

He shook his head softly, regret shining in his eyes, manifesting in the few tears that rolled down his cheeks.

"I'm so sorry, Kate…" he whispered, his words causing her lids to slip closed, her tear-streaked face turning towards his, bringing them infinitely closer.

"You weren't supposed to find the papers… You were never supposed to know why… and it would all be over, finally, over."

His words brought a sob to her surface, and she let her forehead fall against his, felt his hand wrap around her own, his lips softly pressing against her temple as he shifted. Then he took a step back, pulling her hand away from his shirt, putting distance between their bodies.

When she felt the contact disappear, her gaze snapped up, and she nearly collapsed when he stepped away.

Reaching into depths of strength that he was unaware of possessing, Castle turned away, and strode towards the darkened warehouse that awaited him, his strides bringing him closer to the man who just might end his life, hopefully not before he could fire his shot, his final shot.

Behind him, he could hear her sobs, and he knew the moment when she gave in and collapsed against the car door, letting her grief consume her, thankful that she had restrained herself from screaming his name.

He had felt the unbearable weightlessness of his hands when a twist of fate had ripped all control from his fingertips , had been powerless to keep the one he loved from danger, and the blood that had stained his palms on the day she was shot at the funeral was why he was here. He needed to be her Sydney Carton, and keep her atop the cliff even if it meant he would go hurtling down alone.

**So this first chapter takes place towards the end of the story, and acts more like a teaser to give a sampling of where the story is headed. It will be interesting to see reader's reactions to this scene when they first read it blind in the prologue, in comparison to the muchhh longer scene that will show up later. I bet reactions will be quite different once you read the full scene in the context of the rest of the story =) **

**The next chapter will pick up shortly after Kate's hospital stay and the story will build up to this point, dealing with the development of the Castle/Beckett relationship after the finale. The plot deals with Beckett's mom's murder, although this is more character development oriented than case heavy.**

**Thanks for reading! Please review! **


	2. The Lonely Hunter

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle or the characters.**

Chapter 1:

"I'm not leaving."

Richard Castle stood in Beckett's doorway, his words directed towards the detective who was leveling a glare in his direction from the archway between her living room and whatever uncharted expanses existing behind it, most likely her bedroom. Josh was positioned awkwardly between the two, his hand idly gripping a piece of luggage, his face resembling that of a surprised animal caught in the crossfire.

The luggage was how Castle had managed to insert himself into this situation in the first place. It was Kate's homecoming from her bullet induced hospital stay, and he had latched on to the excuse of aiding Josh in carting her bags up to the apartment, as Kate wasn't even supposed to be walking up stairs at this point. Medical advice she had pretended to not hear, he noticed, to which Josh had seemed to adopt a Kate-knows-her-limits attitude, and didn't push her to take it easy.

From what he witnessed in his interaction with Josh over Kate's hospital stay, during which Castle barely left the waiting room or her bedside, the doctor was actually an annoyingly decent guy. He was also surprisingly passive, contrary to the professional leadership quality that his job demanded he maintain. With him, Kate was on a loose rein, and between her post operative limitations and her shooter still at large, Castle wasn't going to let her out of his sight, even if that meant she stayed furious at him for a while. Even if his intervention hurt their partnership, friendship, or whatever the hell else they were, as long as she was safe and alive, he could live with it.

"Like hell you aren't."

Her sharp tone snapped his attention back to the woman before him. Dressed in a loose Beatles t-shirt and black yoga pants, curly waves of her silky golden hair gathered in elastic at her shoulder, one hand on her hip, eyes blazing, Beckett faced him like an immovable brick wall. Then his eyes caught her one sign of weakness in the hand that pressed against the apartment wall to her left, steadying her still surgery weakened body, reminding him that even the strongest towers can crumble. She was trying to draw as little attention to the motion as possible. It was her pride, he knew, that prevented her from letting the world see her falter in any manner.

"_I can't make Beckett stand down, Castle. The way I figure, the only one that can is you." _

Montgomery's words led him here, in the vain hope that maybe if he pushed hard enough she would fall into him this time, instead of taking off, scissors in hand, snipping at anyone who tried to get too close like she had in the past.

She was speaking again, her tone firm and clipped.

"Castle I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself. I do not need a babysitter. There's a detail outside, I have a gun in my bedside table, and I'm exhausted." Her tone softened slightly as their gazes bumped. "You need to go home."

"There's a shooter still roaming the streets, and the bullet wound in your chest is quite the indication that the next time the two of you meet, he won't waste time exchanging pleasantries." He saw her flinch slightly when he mentioned the wound, and felt a dull tug in his chest. He mentally steadied himself, pushing from his mind the image of her lying underneath him on the blood stained grass. "Also, I know you well enough to predict that you'll spend the better portion of the night reviewing files when what you need most is rest. I'm not leaving you alone."

"I'm not alone."

There was her move. She was pulling out all the stops to get him to back off.

She said it firmly, simply, knowing fully the affect it would have on him. He hid his reaction well, his flinch was slight, his jaw clench brief, and the whitening of his clenched knuckles disappeared almost immediately before his gaze shifted over to Josh.

The doctor had moved to Kate's side, and graced her with a soft smile at the words. He clearly took it as an assurance, her way of telling Castle that Josh was there to watch out for her, that it was his place, his responsibility. Castle saw it for what it was: a sharp jab from the hilt of the sword that the two of them had been dancing with from the moment they met.

Her eyes caught his and he thought he saw the briefest hint of regret in them before her gaze hardened again.

"I'm staying." He said with finality.

She turned her face away with an irritated shake of her head. When her eyes returned to his, they were steely, and her mouth was fixed in a thin line.

"Do whatever the hell you want, Castle. I'm going to bed." She said dismissively, and turned sharply away from him, her hand raking through her hair showing him the only insight into some of the emotional strain she was feeling.

Then she was gone, disappearing down the hall, and leaving him with Josh, who gave him a small smile of pity, pity because Josh believed that Castle was throwing his heart at a woman who Josh felt hehad the right to call his own.

In the split second between Josh's look and the man's own disappearance down the hall after her, Castle imagined the satisfaction he would feel from landing a well placed punch to the cheek.

Slowly, Castle made his way over to the couch where he would spend the night, alone.

**AN: I know, I know, mean and angry Beckett isn't always pleasant to read… but this is how I think their dynamic will shift in season 4. Castle tries to save her from going further into her mother's case by pushing her emotionally and challenging her defenses, to which Beckett will react as she usually does, because we all know that Beckett will never go down without a fight. I think this approach on Castle's part will lead to some beautiful moments between them when he finally starts to get through to her. **

**Also, the next chapter will explain some of Beckett's feelings and deal with how she reacts to Castle's "I love you." Because I'm going to stay true to their characters, there won't be a whole lot a fluff in this story (sorry), but angst ridden romance can be just as good, right? **

**Review please! **


	3. Lover's Alibi

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything **

**I'm sooo sorry that it has taken me this long to post. I've had grad parties nonstop. **

Chapter 2

It was 3 am and Kate Beckett was still awake. Wide awake and staring at her ceiling, to be precise. She hated these nights, the ones when she was so physically exhausted that her body ached everywhere, but her mind refused to turn off, and churning thoughts kept her up and alert. She rolled sharply onto her side and let out a long, frustrated breath. A little too loudly, she supposed, because two male arms came to wrap around her waist very gently, cautious of her bandages.

"What are you still doing up, babe?" Josh murmured into her neck.

Oh nothing, just wondering what the man in the next room looks like right now, asleep on my couch. Regretting how much that stunt of mine hurt him, wishing pushing him away wasn't this necessary to finding my mom's killer. She vaguely wondered what Josh's reaction would be to an honest answer before she plastered a small smile on her face, and keeping her head turned away from him and out of his line of vision, she answered, "Just restless, I guess I'm too excited at being home to sleep."

She felt him shift again, and his hand came to rest on her chin, lightly turning her face towards him. When her gaze met his, she saw the concern and confusion there.

"Please don't lie to me Kate." He said softly. "We've been together how long now? And you still can't be honest with me."

She started to respond, but he raised a hand to silence her.

"Look, I have no idea why Richard Castle is asleep in your living room right now, but I trust you enough to let him stay there. You say that he's your partner, Kate, and your friend, but neither of those labels entitle him to be here. When you were in the hospital he barely ever left. If he wasn't next to your bed, then he was in the waiting room down the hall. I know that you don't remember too much of this because you were asleep and medicated most of the time, but if you had seen his face after you woke up you would have realized… " Josh shook his head softly, letting his voice trail off.

He was right about her not remembering. Well, partially. She was pretty sure all the memories were there, but between the pain and the meds that line between reality and dreaming had been crossed so many times that she couldn't be sure which was which. Without solidity and evidence, she couldn't trust anything that she allegedly remembered, anything that was said.

Josh's voice pulled her back to the present. "Kate, I trust you. If you tell me that there isn't something more between you and Richard Castle than that's all I need." It wasn't a statement, and the unspoken question hung in the air between them.

"Castle is my partner and my friend Josh." She said with finality. It wasn't a lie because every word in that statement was true, she rationalized. Josh gave her a soft smile and she felt guilt overwhelm her. She needed to remove herself from this situation before her face gave away some of her discomfort.

"I'm going to go get a glass of water. Do you want anything?" she asked Josh, smoothly removing herself from his grasp and slipping out of the bed. He shook his head no, and she headed out the door towards the kitchen. To get to the kitchen, she had to pass by her living room which, at the moment, inhabited a certain ruggedly handsome writer.

She couldn't help but pause in the open archway. The glow from the T.V. was the only light source in room, casting shadows over his face and drawing her attention to his features. Alone in the darkness, she let her eyes roam over his uncharacteristically still figure.

There was a delicate vulnerability in his peaceful form. He had a pillow tucked under his chin, his arms wrapped trustingly around a bundled blanket, searching for comfort in something that belonged to her.

She closed her eyes briefly, overcome with a myriad of emotions that she couldn't even begin to place. Memories flooded her thoughts. His eyes dancing as he spouted off CIA theories ran parallel in her mind with the deep concern and desperation that overtook his gaze as he held her sobbing form against the car. The gentle quirk of his lips that signaled the oncoming innuendo and the hot press of his lips against her own, his teeth nipping her bottom lip, mirroring the action that had become her own frustrated habit. The way his fingers couldn't stay away from his iphone, and the tender brush of his thumb against her skin as he cradled her hand in his beside the pool. That musical teasing tone in his words when he had called her Scully, and the complete panicked seriousness in his voice when he whispered he loved her.

Beckett mentally froze. **"Kate, please, stay with me. I love you. Kate, I love you." **She could hear the raw whisper like it was yesterday. But, was it even real? She had no idea. She couldn't trust her drugged memories. Despite her doubts, she couldn't help replaying the moment again and again in her mind. She couldn't help the deep pull within her that prayed it was real, the part that lost herself in the emotion of his face, the tears in his eyes, and the pained honesty of his words.

Castle shifted under her gaze, almost as if he could feel her there, drawing her eyes back to his stilled form. His eyebrows crinkled in his sleep, and he let out a loud snore. An amused, whole hearted smile lit up Kate's face, and she shook her head slightly. She was aware that her gaze had turned into one of open adoration, but the silence of the room and the knowledge of her solidarity lulled her into security.

False security, actually. She heard the creak of floorboards behind her, and turned to find Josh standing in the hallway. She was too startled and surprised to wipe the previous expression off of her face, or to hide the guilt that swept over her features shortly after.

They stood there silently regarding each other, each now acutely aware of the elephant in the next room that was making his presence known by snoring even louder.

Josh's face was tight with betrayal and pained understanding. There was no mistaking her feelings towards the writer now. The way her eyes caressed him… He would have given anything for her to look at him that way. Hell, he had given everything. He'd given up his Doctor's Without Border's mission, which, aside from her, was the most meaningful aspect of his life. All for nothing.

"I guess this is it then." He said coldly. "I'll get my stuff and go."

"Josh…"

"You lied, Kate."

"I'm so sor…" He held up his hand to stop her.

"Don't, Kate."

Then he disappeared into her room, resurfacing with his wallet and coat. He walked past her, ignoring her tortured expression. He paused to glance from the writer on the couch to her face.

"I hope you're happy." His tone was bitter and harsh, and his stride was fast and purposeful as he headed towards the door. Then he paused, his fingertips on the door handle.

"I loved you, Kate." His voiced was soft now, his words spoken like a sad fact, because he was fully aware that he would receive no answer. "I hope you can finally be happy, Kate." This time his tone was genuine, his honesty mixed with a tremor of hurt.

Before she could even fathom an answer, he was gone, slipping softly out the door, his exit drawing a steady parallel to the quiet nothingness of what he had been to her.

It still left a dull ache in her chest. One, because he at least deserved her to be truthful to him. Two, because she felt overwhelming guilt at using him to hide behind as the safe shelter that wouldn't make her feel, wouldn't challenge her, wouldn't make her take risks.

She felt like a turtle newly stripped of her shell. She was exposed and Richard Castle would be there tomorrow, alone, in her apartment.

Damn it, she needed stronger armor. Quickly.


	4. Push

**Disclaimer: I own nothing **

**This is a super short chapter to make up for the fact that it took me forever to update. I figured short is better than nothing =]**

Chapter 3

"You've got to be kidding me. It's your first full day home; the last place you should be going is the precinct."

"I've been cleared to go back, Castle, there's nothing you can do to stop me. I'm not allowed to be in the field yet, so the only difference between me sitting around here, or in my chair at the precinct is that there I will actually manage to do some productive paperwork."

They were sitting side by side on Kate's couch, sipping the coffee that she had woken up to him making. He was eating cereal and she was pretending to not notice the bowl he'd poured for her and placed firmly before her, whilst throwing her a stern look that clearly screamed, "There's no way you're skipping breakfast while you heal."

"Ha. Paperwork, my ass. The first call that comes in about a body will send you sprinting for the door. Dr. Motorcycle boy actually fell hard enough for your taking it easy act to clear you to go back?" He scoffed, shaking his head dismissively. He paused mid-shake, and she could practically see the cartoon light bulb turn yellow above his head as his eyes swept over the apartment.

"Where is the man of the hour?"

"Work." She answered shortly, shifting her gaze away from him and flinging up her emotional wall like a shield.

The slight furrow of her brows was what tipped him off. His expression changed instantly from mocking to concerned.

"Kate…?"

Damn it. He knew her way too damn well.

She faced him, features hardened, walls perfectly intact. "We broke up. Okay? Satisfied?" She asked sharply, her tone clearly indicating that this line of conversation ended right now.

She picked up their dishes and turned away before she had to face the reaction that was sure to be written all over his features. When she had rinsed them, she returned to the room, and brushing past Castle without a look in his direction she stated, "I'm heading to work, are you coming or not?"

With the last word she turned, hands on her hips, trying to appear fixed and firm.

"You're staying here."

"What are you going to do, Castle? Tie me to the couch?"

"While that thought has crossed my mind, no. That is not my plan." He continued quickly when she looked even more unamused by his words. "Seriously, Kate, I know you. You won't back down, and right now you need rest. You need to stay here."

"Who elected you to babysit me?" She snapped harshly. "I didn't ask you to be here, Castle. You forced your way in. I don't need you." The last words were spoken flatly, drawing more attention than the rest.

"It is way too damn early to argue with you. I'm going to work." With that said, she walked out the door, slamming it shut behind her.

She was halfway down the walkway when his voice made her pause.

"Um... Kate… you should probably lock this before I leave. Unless you want to hand over your keys to me….?" The half joking, half genuinely hopeful tone in his voice was lost when she whirled to face him, eyes blazing.

"I'm going to take that as a no."

**Review please!**


	5. Just A Moment Of Change

**Disclaimer: Obligatory witty way to say they aren't mine =]**

She used to think Castle watching her do paperwork was creepy. Then, it became sweet, adorable even. Right now, it was a ridiculously exhausting exercise.

His eyes were flickering over her face, trying to read her eyes, which were determinedly focused away from his probing gaze. She felt like every second was a conscious decision to ignore the slowly deepening concern that was stamping his features.

"Why did you break up?" His voice was low, his tone serious.

"I don't know, Castle, maybe the pushy third party who insisted on having a sleepover in my apartment didn't sit too well with him." She said it offhandedly, sarcastically, her face still downturned towards her paperwork.

She felt her verbal blow hit him physically as, out of the corner of her eye, she saw him fall heavily against the back of his chair, his jaw slack, eyes tightening in pain as guilt gripped his throat.

It made her hate herself a little bit. It made her want to cross the distance between them and enfold him in her arms, whisper that she was sorry, that it wasn't his fault. But, what she wanted and what she needed were two different things. She needed this to be over, for her mother's killer to be caught. She needed it for herself, to finally make it to the other side, exposed in the finality of it being done. She needed it for them, so that she had more to hand him than the broken pieces of her heart that she concealed so well. That was why she needed to do this, to push him away so harshly, to hurt him so that he would step back from her. From them.

So, instead of an embrace, she plopped a stack of files in front of him, glancing up quickly at his face.

"Here, fill some of this out instead of just sitting here watching me. This will go a lot faster that way."

He nodded wordlessly, and, pen raised, started in on the papers before him.

Five seconds later, following the sound of fast paced stilettos, those papers were ripped firmly from his grasp.

Both he and Kate jerked their heads up in surprise, identical expressions of shock on their faces.

"Detective Beckett, I didn't know you'd be in today. Glad your feeling better." The tall woman who appeared beside the duo extended her hand towards Kate. "I'm your new Captain."

Castle could almost feel Kate bristling beside him as she regarded the hand being offered to her. The woman attached to it was dressed sharply, almost painful to the eye with her attire's strict professionalism. Her jet black hair was yanked back in the tightest bun he'd ever seen, She had come to stand between his chair and Kate's, and the way that she inserted her body, with her back facing him, was physically excluding him from their conversation. His eyes flicked back and forth between Kate's strained smile, as she gave in and reciprocated the handshake, and the files he had previously been filling out, which were now gripped firmly by the hands of the new Captain.

"I believe these belong to you?" She asked pointedly, handing the files back to Kate. Her tone clearly stated that she was nowhere near pleased that non-certified personnel had access to it.

She spun on one heel, finally facing Castle head on. "Mr. Castle, since Detective Beckett is more than capable of completing her desk duty without your assistance, I think it's best that you clear out early." Her tone was pleasant, but reverberated with firm intent.

Castle plastered on his most winning smile. "I have no problem with that, Captain…" His voice faltered slightly at the use of what he now considered to be a sacred title. In his peripheral vision, He saw Kate wince. He recovered quickly and continued on, "But my friend the mayor would be very disap…"

She raised a hand to silence him, cutting in with "I'm sure the mayor has more important things to focus on. I think that after three years of following Detective Beckett around, you are more than capable of taking a day off without your writing having to suffer for it. Have a good day, Mr. Castle." With that, she turned and walked into her newfound office. Mongomery's office.

Upon seeing Beckett's shell shocked expression, mixed with anger and grief from the memories of Montgomery that the meeting had induced, Castle caught her gaze, and with a half hearted smile, jerked his thumb towards her departing figure and mouthed "Bitch", widening his eyes for emphasis. Her lips curved up in a quick smile, her eyes silently thanking him for the lighthearted reprieve.

The expression on her face held him captive, shifted their reality back to the past, back to the identical expression that she had given him when she unwrapped the Temptation Lane photo. Back before the her crimson blood tainted his hands, before Mongomery's body remained motionless on the ground beneath them., before his heart broke with the bullet that passed through hers.

He could tell that she noticed the shadow that passed over his face, but he turned away quickly, not wanting to draw her into his darkness. It was a rare gift these days to see her smile.

He grabbed his coat from behind him and stood up hesitantly.

"So… I'll see you later."

She raised an eyebrow towards him. "Try tomorrow."

His jaw clenched, and before they got into another argument, this time within the hearing line of the new Captain, who did not seem to be an enthusiastic member of their (his) fan club, Castle headed to the elevator as fast as humanly possible. As the closed doors obstructed his view of her, he raised his fist to the wall behind him and struck it, hard. The pain that shot down his wrist overwhelmed his senses, letting him ignore, for the moment, the violent trembling of his body.

There was a white manila envelope on his kitchen counter, addressed to him. The handwritten print that scripted his name reached out a ghostly hand to brush against his heart. He knew who it was from before he ripped the seal. The first thing he pulled out was a letter.

_Son,_

_I'm sure that the moment you saw this you knew what it would contain. There is a name that I disclosed within these files. It is a very, very dangerous name, one that no means of force or firepower can take down. That is where you come in, Rick. You know she'll run right to him, and no amount of force or logic can make her stand down. Ryan and Esposito will do things the honorable way, the safe way. He will see them coming a mile away. I know that you never asked for this, and I'm sorry that you ever had to become a part of it, but this has become your fight, now. You have connections. Use them. The only way to come at him is sideways, by thinking outside the box. The group of you has become like family to me. I will miss you all wherever I end up. Take care of my daughter, Rick. Protect her heart. Whether you realize it or not, it's already cradled in your hands. _

_Montgomery. _


End file.
